By: Tina Stroman
“Retail therapy is not therapy. You leave having talked to no one, and you have less money in your pocket.” I literally just heard this on TV as I’m enjoying my cup of coffee on the couch this Friday morning. When I heard this sentence, I literally started laughing. You see, I was the retail therapy girl through many years of my young adult life, and I believe it’s one reason why I’m so passionate about being my best now. When life would throw curve balls at me in my late teens and early twenties, I was the first one in the car driving to the mall. I would do anything I could to avoid having to process the struggle, accept it, and learn from it. It was way easier to go to the mall, shop for a cute outfit, and pay for it on the Macy’s credit card. You know, it was the “I’ll deal with it later mindset.”
We all search for ways to cope with the struggles of life. Some choose shopping; some choose gambling; others may choose alcohol. However, there are those who choose to talk with others in their tribe and commit to getting better and learning from the struggle. I always admired those people- the ones that took something good away from the struggle.I quickly realized that I wanted to be them, and that I needed to change. Instead of shopping, I knew that my ultimate goal was positive and effective communication, and that was an area where I needed to get better. So, I began to search and surround myself with people who modeled positive communication for me, and I chose to learn from them. You see, at the end of the day, no new outfit, no casino, and no time spent drinking will ever fill the void that comes from the valleys of life. The only way to move forward in a positive way is to talk about our struggles with others and realize that we are in charge of our own happiness, and we are in charge of how we cope with life’s challenges. Often times, we search for happiness in “stuff”. No amount of “stuff” and no one person can or is responsible for “making us happy”. There is only one person that can make you happy, and it’s YOU!
So, how do we do it? How do we not rely on retail therapy(or anything else) to make us happy? How do we avoid relying on these things to fill the void that only WE are able to fill? What’s our first step? Well, let’s start committing to having conversations with each other in person! Social media, text messages,and email aren’t good enough. Let’s commit to picking up the phone or meeting in person! Let’s start by realizing that we can’t do it alone. Let’s start by surrounding ourselves with the best people for us! Let’s start by being vulnerable and sharing our stories with other women! Let’s start by being honest with ourselves, and let’s start by seeing the good in people and seeing the good in ourselves! Let’s start by being a good listener for others. Let’s start by being the best example we can in the world! Finally, let’s start by committing to being better tomorrow than we are today! Let’s pray; let’s read; let’s learn, and let’s let go of trying to make everyone else happy! After all, everyone else is in charge of their OWN happiness just like we are! So, ladies- here’s to US and here’s to OUR happy! Thank you for modeling all that is right in the world for me!