By: Sydney Houseman
Are my grades okay? Should I be studying more? Have I gained weight? Am I supposed to be on zoom? Do I look the same? Why am I so tired? Where’s my mask? Can I skip class? Does my teacher think I’m smart? Do I need to be more involved? Do those girls like me? Have I had too much coffee? Are we getting sent home? When should I go to bed? Do I need to get tested for Covid-19? Should I go to the gym? What am I even learning? Is anyone else confused? Am I doing this right?
Starting college. Already a whirlwind of emotions. First, you got your new classes. Everyone tells you they’re way harder, but what you aren’t prepared for is having to teach yourself half the material because it’s online. A class you were supposed to have for an hour three days a week, you now work on for five hours every single day. Then, you have homesickness. Everyone tells you that you’ll miss your friends and family, but what you aren’t prepared for is not talking and texting with the people you used to see everyday. You say you’ll stay in touch, and of course you do, but you’re busy. In different time zones, with completely different schedules. Your classes are all in the morning, all your friends from home take classes starting at noon. Next, you have the fears. Everyone tells you the freshman fifteen is a thing, but what you aren’t prepared for is the constant stress that comes with it. Do I look okay? Have I gained weight? I am okay? Everyone tells you making friends is hard, but what you aren’t prepared for is never knowing if you’re really liked. Are these girls actually my friends? Will they think I’m weird if I open up? And finally you have the unknowns. The things that no one tells you. The things that no one yet knows. The things that no one can relate to. Questions like, will there be a football season? Am I going to get sent home? Every event you look forward to: cancelled, rescheduled, and “hopefully we can do it in the spring.” It’s the life you’re beginning to live and learn to know, and it is nothing of what you expected.
Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. We all feel like this. It isn’t just you, or your best friend, or daughter, or sister, or anyone. It’s all of us. And it’s not just college. It’s life. The last six months have been an absolute whirlwind of emotions and yes, the pandemic didn’t help, but it would have been considered crazy anyways. There was graduation, prom, moving out, moving in, all of it. Just because we’re in a pandemic doesn’t mean life wouldn’t have been hectic as it is. As I’ve grown up, I’ve slowly started to learn that. My favorite quote of all time is from Glennon Doyle and it reads, “Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyway.” This quote is describing life. It’s advice on how to keep going. It shows that all of us are messy and complicated, but I decided to go to college, and I am going to thrive at it. You decided to start a new job, move to a new place, meet new people, try new things, and you are going to absolutely thrive at it. It’s the unknowns and the scary questions that completely stop us in our tracks, so don’t let those questions stand in the way of what each and every one of us are here to do. College may be hard, but you show up. Life may be hard, but you show up. So go, show up. Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t ask yourself those questions. We’re all going through it and we’re all nervous about what lies ahead, but it’s time we all show up.