I grew up 4 years behind a straight A’s, teachers favorite, genius sister. Following behind in her shadow was pretty tough. While she was two years ahead in math, advanced in English and science, and achieving high test scores, I was getting A’s and B’s in my average classes as an average student. It used to really bother me, the feeling that I was letting down my family, not filling the footprints my sister had laid out before me.
The start of the school year was always rough, especially when I had her past teachers. It wouldn't take them long to find out that the majority of the Hoff smarts went to the first child. I am a pretty good student, but compared to my sister, I was below average. I placed so much pressure on myself to try to uphold her success, striving for all A’s as just a middle schooler. I found out soon that in order to uphold my friendships, swim status, and social life, I wouldn’t be getting straight A’s and perfect test scores.
I decided, around the age of 12, that I didn’t have to be just like my sister. I would find what I am good at and what I enjoy and work on those talents. It wasn't as easy as it sounds, to let go of all of the pressure I held against myself in regards to school, but over the course of the year, I started paying more attention to my talents and achievements in other places.
One thing I have always succeeded in was swimming. I have swam my whole life -- on a club team and in the summer. The pool was where I felt most at home, and it was the one thing that I excelled at that my sister didn’t. So, I started to make a shift, focusing more on my success in the pool than in school, finding the right balance to where I was still getting good grades, but could have great success in swimming. It took me years to understand this one thing: success is relative. I didn’t need to be the same student as my sister because I have other talents.
We spend our lives comparing ourselves to others, our peers, social media influencers, friends, family, everyone. Success should only be judged on your effort and your achievements, not others.
Lily Hoff